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May 28, 2008

Inside Secrets of Communication

Forget about me for a minute. Let's talk about you.

If you could master certain communication skills, what would they be? What would you like to do? How does this sound: Being the person that people love to talk to. Being able to talk to anybody, grab their attention and keep it as long as you want.

In preparation for communicating on the phone people usually spend time perfecting their "scripts" and trying to get other people interested in them. Some people never worry about their script because there's a sure-fire way to create interest. It works almost every time. For example, my introduction varies (I hate "canned" scripts), but it usually goes something like this:

"Hi this is Cindy McAsey, I help people who want to earn a living in their own business like I do. I continully test new marketing strategies and fine tune my training based on results I get" That's it. Then I quickly switch the conversation topic to something that other people are always interested in: Themselves. People would rather talk about what they do than listen to you talk about what you do.

After a brief sentence about yourself (15 seconds or less), shift the topic by asking: "And what do you do?" This gets them talking. Sometimes that is the only question you need to ask. If you happen to find someone that loves what they do you've just created a conversation. But that doesn't happen all the time. So next ask: "How did you get into that?" or, if they obviously don't care for their job ask "What career would you like to move into?" Then shut up, and listen. Really listen. Pay attention to their tone of voice. Wait until they get excited about something. An aspect of their job or business. Their clients. Their coworkers. A success story. Something.

When you find that "something" ask about it. Just say, "Could you tell me more about that?" Congratulations, you've just created an instant conversation and genuine interest. What if they hate their situation? Not a problem. Just say, "I understand. But what do you enjoy?" Be careful, you could have an hour-long conversation on your hands! When you master this type of introduction you'll also need to master the skill of how to get out of a conversation and move on (that's a subject for another message).

This isn't a new concept, Dale Carnegie said in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People that "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." How true. This isn't rocket science. It might even sound simple. It is, but it isn't. The next time you have a conversation, become aware of how anxious you are to 1. talk about yourself or 2. add your own opinion. To become an effective networker you have to have the mindset "It's all about the other person".

Keep in mind, people won't always call or approach you. If someone doesn't introduce themself to you, introduce yourself to them. To get started, here's a great icebreaker that works: "Hi". After you say hi DO NOT go into your script, skip it until they ask about you. Move right into the two questions we just talked about:

1. "What do you do?" Get the other person talking about himself or herself.

2. "How did you get into that?" Or "What would you like to do?"

Here are a few alternatives (or follow-ups) to question #2: "What is your favorite part of your career?" "Is that a life long career or a stepping stone?" (If it's a stepping stone, ask "a stepping stone to what?") What do you do when you're not working?

Now you know the secret to successful communication: Get the other person to talk about themself right away. More importantly, get them to talk about something they are passionate about. Become interested in what they're saying. If there's a synergy between the two of you, keep in contact with them. Take action to improve your communication skills, by showing up for my training Tuesday. My Veretekk training is exclusive for gold Veretekk members who are serious about building their own online business success.

Cindy McAsey
Marketing Strategies Coach

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